Her Faith Inspires 005: How To Shake Off Insecurity and Walk In Confidence
Season: 001 Episode: 005
Do you feel like others make you insecure? When you’re around successful, beautiful people we tend to feel like they’re better than us. Today, we talk about insecurities and why women struggle to find it.
In this episode, Shanda takes you back to the source of where insecurity was birthed.
We’ll talk about:
*Why we can’t blame our insecurities on others
*Where insecurities in women originated and why
*Why insecurities are not of God
*Why it’s not called self-confidence
*And how to gain confidence by going back to the garden
“If we lost confidence when the enemy caused us to doubt God, then building confidence happens when we know God and trust His word.”
“Confidence happens when we increase our trust in God, not ourselves.”
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Episode 5: How to shake off insecurity and walk in confidence
Welcome back my friend. You are listening to episode 5 of Her Faith Inspires and today we are talking about insecurity and confidence.
This episode is dedicated to my friend Natalie Valdez ..AKA Nattie Boo. And she said she really wanted me to record an episode that addressed our struggles with insecurity and how to become confident women.
Well, Natalie! I am so glad you want to talk about this topic! At times, I struggle with insecurities, as does the rest of the female population.
I am so grateful Natalie messaged me about doing a podcast episode on this topic because it is so needed in our culture today. As woman, there are so many platforms out there that we can compare ourselves to and end up feeling like we come up short.
Thus, the reason for insecurities. And how can we live inspirational lives of faith if we walk around insecure? It’s not likely to happen.
Today, we are going to talk about WHY we feel insecure, the results of insecurity and what God says to do about it. In the end, I hope this will leave you walking away with some practical tips on how to build your confidence … and the ways to do this may surprise you.
I almost can’t wait to get to the end, but we’ll get there. So hang with me!
What Does it Mean to be Insecure?
I love to look up words in the dictionary because I feel like they lose their impact in everyday conversation.
Insecurity (thanks, Webster): is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. It also means being open to danger or threat; lack of protection.
What does this tell me right away? My insecurities have nothing to do with anyone else. They are the uncertainty and lack of confidence in myself.
We can sometimes blame others for the lack of self confidence we have. If being around a certain group of people or a person who is successful makes us feel insecure, it’s not about them as much as it’s about me and you.
So, the first thing we need to remember is to not blame someone else because we are insecure. I know that sounds harsh, but confidence doesn’t come from outside sources.
Confidence begins inward.
If you research the topic on women and insecurities you’re going to find a slew of things. Many of them I don’t agree with at all.
And since this is a faith based podcast, I will always bring our issues back to the Bible. Because if we find it in the Bible, we find a real solution to a real issue and it stems from the fallen nature.
Let’s just be real!
That brings me to my first point ….
Eve lost security and confidence for ALL women in the Garden
A huge characteristic of insecurity is doubt. But it doesn’t start with doubting ourselves. It starts with doubting God.
God created Eve in perfection. And we are going to find so many similarities in her life that parallel ours … both in her perfect creation and fallen nature.
There was no flaw in women. If you check out my bible study, Reflections of Eve, I demonstrate through scripture why women are truly the crown of creation. God created us last to prove to man how badly he needed a woman.
I want to explain this further, but you’ll have to wait for that episode because it goes into further depth on why we cannot find our value and worth in anything other than God. So, if you want a jump start on that, go to Amazon and get Reflections of Eve.
So again, Eve was perfect. There will never be another woman with her beauty and wisdom. We know God created everything in perfection because after each day, He looked around and said, “It is good.”
After He made mankind He said, “It is very good.”
And in Genesis 3, you see Satan come on the scene and he has a conversation with a perfect woman. She had it all. She embodied all that we ever want to be … which is perfection.
She had no lack in physical and mental appearance or ability.
And Satan got her to do what we all do today .. he got her to doubt God’s word. And when she began to doubt God, she started to feel a lack in herself. She started to see that maybe she didn’t have what it takes. Maybe she needed more.
So, what did she do? She stretched out her arm and she reached for what she didn’t have and what she thought would complete her … make her better.
Feeling insecure means we are not confident in who God created us to be. We doubt what He’s called us to do and what He has spoken to us in His word.
We do it today, my friend. When we feel like we don’t measure up, we do not believe God is capable of completing His work in our lives.
And there are repercussions to our insecurities.
Insecurities Keep Us Focused on the Things of the World
A lot of times we excuse ourselves from showing up because of insecurities. We don’t want to put ourselves out there because we feel we don’t have what it takes.
But in reality, that’s an excuse. And God will not excuse us from living life and fulfilling our purpose because we have bought the lie that we aren’t as good as someone else.
When Eve swallowed the words of the enemy and felt the desire for more, it caused her to reach for fruit. She reached for physical things to try and fill what she thought was a deficiency.
1 John 2:15 says, “Do not love the world or anything in it.”
When we love the things of the world, it causes us to compare ourselves to others and that’s when we feel like we come up short.
Psalm 119:37 says, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things.”
Looking at worthless things was what got Eve into this mess of insecurity today. How do we know that? As soon as she ate from the tree, after the enemy convinced her she wasn’t good enough, she immediately hid.
And why do we hide? Because we feel a lack. In this case, it was sin that caused shame and she hid. But that’s the exact reaction we experience when we feel insecure … we don’t want to be seen for who we really are because who we really are doesn’t measure up.
Instead, we try and figure out how we can be like her. Or what we need to be better than we are.
We wonder what we need to purchase, obtain, and acquire in order to be secure.
In other words … we reach. And we hide. And we wait until we become more self-confident.
But, let’s be honest. It doesn’t happen.
Which brings me to my last point …
It’s Not Self-Confidence, It’s God-Confidence
I’m not going to sit here and tell you to become more self-confident. Why? Because that’s not how my confidence is built and it’s not how yours is built either.
The good news is that you can have confidence. And you will begin to believe in yourself if you do it the way I’m going to suggest.
I want you to think about this …
If we lost confidence when the enemy caused us to doubt God, then building confidence happens when we know Him and trust His word.
When God created you, He planned your days and He knows what He has called you to do. Everyone is called for a greater purpose.
Phil 1:6 says, “I am sure that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
You didn’t start the good work in your life. God did. You don’t have to take on the task of trying to be like anyone else. That is God’s job. Allow Him to work in you.
Let me tell you something that will help take the pressure off: None of us measure up. We are all incompetent. Thank God He uses imperfect people to show His greatness.
Rom 3:10 tells us there is no one righteous. No one who measures up.
So, what am I trying to say? Don’t try and increase your self confidence. Increase your confidence in the Lord.
How do we do that? We read His word. Seek Him and pray. In a nutshell … a relationship with Him. It’s that simple.
When God came looking for Adam and Eve when they were hiding, He drew them out of the bushes and He clothed them.
They didn’t have what it took to restore themselves. They didn’t have what it took to shake off the insecurities without Him.
It’s no different with us.
Go to Him and you will become more confident in His faithfulness and who He says He is. In return, you will begin to believe in yourself. Not because of who you are but because of who He is.
Proverbs 14:26 says, “In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and His children will have a refuge.”
Do you know what that place of refuge is? The place we can hide in Him.
I used to be so insecure and I’ll be honest … sometimes I still get there. I want to go to my hiding place and stay away from all the people and places I compare myself to and feel inadequate.
But I have realized my confidence is not in myself. And there’s something comforting in knowing that God uses me because I am not perfect.
In fact, He uses me because I am the exact opposite of all this world puts their trust in. I am the fool who astounds the wise because God has equipped me to do what He has called me to do.
And He will do the same for you.
Remember my friend … it’s God-confidence. Not self-confidence. And that alone takes the pressure off!
That’s it for this episode. If you have any questions, please send me an email at email@example.com. I’ll answer back and maybe I’ll even make an episode out of it. Who knows?
Natalie went for it and here we are because of her. Thanks again, Nattie Boo!
I’ll see you next week with a brand new episode.