Season: 5 Episode: 065
Our culture is nurturing disrespect in the younger generations. How do we teach our kids to respect their parents and why is that foundational to godly parenting? Shanda discusses this and conversations surrounding parental rights in our culture.
“Our culture is nurturing disrespect in our children.”
“If we allow our children to disrespect the authority in their lives, they will end up disrespecting the ultimate authority … God.”
“Culture is fighting for our kid’s attention. If we don’t teach them to respect us, we will lose them to culture.”
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Hey guys! Welcome back to another episode of Her Faith Inspires podcast. My Apologetics 101 class is underway and if you missed it, don’t worry. There will be another class offered in the fall.
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Today, we’re going to talk about how to raise your kids and protect them in the world we live in.
I’ve shared a little bit over the last few months on how my kids are being taught about CRT, naturalism, feminism, and kicked out of classes for wearing an American flag shirt. It’s been overwhelming for sure.
My goal isn’t to get you to pull your kids out of public education. I mean, that’s where my husband and I are at the moment, but we are praying about where we go from here. My goal is to motivate, inspire and encourage you to watch over your children. Teach them about God and the Bible, and intervene because that’s the world we’re living in.
I was telling my FIL the other day that I have always read the bible to my boys, prayed with them, have conversations with them about Jesus and the word, but I have never taught them so much as I have this past year.
I literally sit them at the table and teach them apologetics, tell them to read the Bible for themselves and listen in on their history classes, ELA classes, and any class we’ve had an issue with over the last few months.
There are some things happening in public education that you need to be aware of.
There are things being talked about in legislation that we need to be aware of and stand against because as parents, you are losing some of your rights when it comes to your children.
Again, I’m not saying this to scare you. I’m saying this to motivate, encourage and inspire you to stand up for your children, teach them and protect them. Equip them to become good thinkers and truth bearers in a world that wants to take them captive like Nebachudnezzer took Daniel and his friends.
We’re going to talk about:
- Why your children need to respect you as their parents and why society is trying to get them to disrespect you as their parents.
2. What is the current conversation in regards to legislation for children that is challenging parental rights?
3. What is our responsibility to the younger generations according to God’s word?
What does respect have to do with this? Why do children need to respect their parents?
In 2 Tim 3:1-5, Paul tells Timothy some of the signs in the last days. In the midst of a list of terrible things, Paul mentions that children will be disobedient to parents.
At the beginning of this school year, my senior had to take a survey in one of his classes and his dad looked it over with him. In the survey, he had to answer why his parents share some things on social media. The answers to choose from were: because they don’t know what they’re talking about, they don’t have enough information … and the list of answers were all worded negatively, as if to cause the kids to question why they’re parents share and obtain information.
This is troubling.
Just today, my middle son had to watch a video in his leadership class on the guy on the video asked the kids, “Why do you believe what you believe? Is it because your parents believe it?”
What’s the point of that question? Of course they only believe what they believe because of their parents.
Kids are in school to learn about history, math, and how to critically think, read and write. That is all. But our culture is breeding disrespectful children.
We live in the midst of a culture that burns down buildings and beats people up for a “cause”. We’ve nurtured children who can’t handle hearing the word “no” or losing a game so we’ve given them all trophies and counted to 5 so our kids would have 5 more seconds to hopefully listen to what we just told them to do.
So, whose fault is it when kids disrespect their parents?
One of the things my mom never tolerated was disrespect. She could give a look and I knew I was in trouble. She taught me by example and she taught me by instruction. Why mom was easy to respect. That’s one of the reasons I never rebelled. I respected her too much to try and pull a fast one because my mom wouldn’t tolerate it.
I carried that over into my parenting as well. My thought was that if my boys were allowed to disrespect me, they would disrespect any authority figure, including God. So from a young age, I made my boys listen, look me in the eye when they spoke to me, and be careful how they chose to address me.
They know this very well. A few weeks ago, my middle son put his ice cream in the sink and walked away leaving a complete mess. I called him back and he explained that the milk he added to the ice cream was sour so he had to dump it out. I told him the sink is still a mess and he should have rinsed it down the drain. He walked away and mumbled something.
That’s not OK with me.
I called him back and asked him to repeat what he said where I can hear it. He got very sheepish and lowered his head and said, “I said, ‘whatever’.” Now this may not be a big deal to many people but these are the things I don’t let go. If my kids think I’m being unfair, tell me. But don’t mumble under your breath and walk away because that’s disrespectful.
I told him that he can’t talk to me that way and if he does it again he’ll be grounded. He apologized several times and we went on our way, but the point is parenting is diligence and hard work at times and it’s too easy to let things go and not address them, but if we let them go we will reap the consequences of disrespectful children.
The bible speaks to parenting a lot and to disrespectful children.
And if you have disrespectful kids, it’s your fault. You have to train your children how to act in public and how to speak to you in normal conversation. Now, if your child has diagnosable disabilities that hinder their mental and emotional capacity, that’s to be understood. So have grace with that.
But we’re going to go back to the word of God and really discuss what the Bible says about children being disrespectful.
Proverbs 17:25 says, “A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.”
The reason he’s a grief to his father and bitterness to his mother is because they are the ones who raised him. One Proverb says he brings shame to his mother. Why? Because she is the one who is supposed to correct this foolish behavior.
Children are born with a sin nature.
We all are. None of us are naturally respectful. We must be taught to respect authority because autonomy is a natural desire of the flesh. With that said, it’s the duty of the parents to teach children what respect is and why they need to show it.
I’ve told my boys since they were little that if I allow them to disrespect me, they will disrespect all authority and that’s not ok. To this day my boys will ask permission to say something to their teachers in conversation that they’re not sure would be disrespectful and we help guide them on that.
The OT was ruthless against disrespectful children. In ancient times, if a parent couldn’t get their kid under control, the townspeople were to stone the child. Of course we don’t live under OT law anymore, thank the Lord.
The law wasn’t to be applied to a small child throwing a fit in the market, but children who are not corrected when they are small grow up to be disobedient, disrespectful teens and young adults and that’s when they become detrimental to society.
The truth of the matter is that there is a window of opportunity to teach our children how to be respectful and it’s in their formative years.
This has to be a part of your home life. It has to be a rule of the home, if you will. Once you try and instill this when they are in middle school to high school age, it’s going to be much more difficult but with God it won’t be impossible.
Again, you may be wondering why this is important when what we’re really talking about is protecting your kids in this current culture. Well again, as parents you should be the one your child goes to and has hard conversations with. You should be the most influential person in your child’s life and the good news is that the parents are the most influential people in a child’s life. But we must remember: influence goes both ways. We can influence them both positively and negatively. And if we don’t address disrespect with our kids, we are allowing them to become rotten human beings.
Culture is fighting for your child’s attention and if they don’t respect you, you will lose them to culture.
75% of kids leave the church once they leave the home. That means they are not being won over to Christianity. Why? Because a big part of teaching them respect is modeling respectful behavior in front of them.
Our culture is disrespectful to authority. We disrespect teachers, police officers, and call each other names on social media, take to the streets and destroy property when we don’t agree with what others. And then we tell them to tolerate others? How do we expect our children to be respectful?
Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and mother, that your days may be prolonged on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” And in case you’re wondering why I’m mentioning an OT verse when we no longer live by the OT, I want to say Jesus modeled this very thing. He took care of His mother to His last breath and told John His apostle to take care of her.
Jesus took the law and fulfilled it and not only that, He also took it deeper than the appearance of fulfilling it and pierced through to the heart of the matter.
Honoring your parents is a godly trait that must be part of training our children.
If not, what their taught through culture, public education, entertainment, and peers will trump what you have to say.
And that is the main reason I bring this issue up in this episode. I treat my boys with respect. I explain things to them and hear them out when they want to negotiate things. But I won’t argue with my boys. At some point, I have the final say and they have to accept it because I am their mom and make the best judgment I can because I love them. Just like God does with me.
I’ve also mentioned that I nurture the lines of communication with my boys and have since they were very young. We go on mother/son dates periodically and now my boys have gotten to the point where they ask for them when they need to talk. My oldest and youngest are notorious for wanting time with me to discuss things that are bothering them. So do this at a young age and they will trust you with their fears, worries, hurts and come to you because they value and respect your advice because you take time for them.
There are a lot of things being discussed that don’t involve you when it comes to your kids
Sometimes things are just talk and we easily brush it to the side because we either don’t want to face it or we think it won’t happen. Please don’t do that. It is our job to fight for this generation. It is our job to go to bat for them because one day they will have to live out as adults what we’ve allowed as the generations before them.
When my oldest was in biology, he learned about sex ed and my husband and I had the talk with him long before this. His teacher told the class that they could go to the office and get condoms and birth control and their parents would never have to find out.
However, that same week my son’s PE class started swim and I had to sign a permission slip saying he was capable of swimming. So you’re telling me that you need my permission to allow my son to swim in the school’s swimming pool, but if he wants to go have sex you’ll give him a condom and never tell me?
But wait. There’s more.
With the transgender conversations happening all over the country right now, people are asking that puberty blockers be given to children for free and without parental consent.
Yes, you heard that right. People in this country, in places of legislation and authority want to give your child puberty blockers whether you agree or not just in case your child can’t figure out which gender they want to be.
My son is 15 and is going through puberty now. He can’t drive because he’s not 16. He can’t drink until he’s 21. But he could get puberty blockers according to this logic and no one will care what I think.
Our society wants our kids to disrespect and dismiss their parents.
It’s easier to mold their minds and teach them when they don’t care what their parents say and if we don’t set a tone of respect in our homes and then teach our kids how to identify this absurdity, we will lose them.
Just last year, a Harvard professor by the name of Elizabeth Bartholet said in an interview that parents should not be allowed to homeschool their children because it gives them authoritarian control over them. She argued that government has more of a right to educate children than parents do.
This made national news and many people were outraged over it as they should be.
But what worries me is the discussion being had about it at the current moment. Especially when talk of puberty blockers without parental permission is being discussed simultaneously and while schools are still shut down because the government won’t allow them to go back.
With that said, our private schools that are funded by parents and families, had to fight to reopen this school year because the governor of this state said they also couldn’t go back if they public schools did not. The private schools took them to court and thankfully won.
The reality is that parents are having to battle some things that I never thought we would have to battle in our lifetime. We must make sure we are aware of the conversations being had surrounding our kids and stand against them before they go further than just talk.
What is our responsibility as parents according to God’s word?
First, we are to raise our children in the way they should go. But the thing about that is we need to know the way ourselves.
Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” I always caught my mom reading and praying. Many times she knelt beside her bed and I would walk in and catch her there. I knew she lived what she preached.
In order to teach, we have to know. We will never teach the right way unless we are students of the word. So do that first and then train up your child in the way he should go (Prov 22:6).
A scary but real thought is that the enemy wants our children.
He wants to take control of their minds and their hearts and pull them away from the Lord. Fight for them in prayer. Ask God to guard their hearts and minds. Pray that God helps them grow in wisdom, stature and favor with Him and with man. Ask God to make them men and women of God who follow after His very heart.
I pray those words over my boys every day. I ask that God’s arm will be outstretched toward them because the outstretched arm of God means He is working in them and the work is on going.
No matter what you or I do in this life or the occupation we show up to every day, our #1 priority in parenting is to train and take care of our children.
They are gifts from God and He does not take the responsibility lightly and neither should we.
Another thing we forget or is frowned upon in culture is discipline. The Bible says the Lord disciplines those He loves. Proverbs tells us that we hate our children if we do not discipline them. That’s because the result of undisciplined children has dire consequences.
Discipline doesn’t necessarily mean a spanking, but it does mean correction of some sort and the correction has to hurt enough to correct the behavior. That’s what spare the rod, spoil the child means. I don’t spank my 17yo but when I discipline him, I make sure he knows the consequence is real, it’s effective and it causes just enough discomfort that it corrects the behavior.
Here’s the thing: in Deuteronomy, God told the people to teach their children about Him and His ways. He gave them specific instructions to always let their conversations lead back to God and His goodness and how to live life. In chapter 6:7 He said to teach them diligently.
Diligence means not negligently or carelessly but with careful effort.
It’s intentional. But Judges 2 tells us a very sad story. In verse 10 it says, “All that generation also were gathered to their fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord, nor yet the work He had done for Israel.”
Joshua’s generation died. The same Joshua who stood boldly before Israel in Joshua 24:15 and said, “Choose this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua made the decision for his family. As long as they lived under his roof, they would serve the Lord and he taught them the ways of God. But after his generation died off, they stopped talking and teaching and following the ways of God. And if you’ve read the book of Judges, it shows the consequence of a godless generation.
We have an opportunity for a short period of time to influence our children for good. It’s tiring at times. It’s hard and it can be a battle at times. But it’s a spiritual battle worth fighting because the souls of our children are at stake.
For now, I stand in front of my children with the armor of God and I battle for them in prayer. And then I turn around and teach them that they must be ready to do the same because I won’t be the one responsible over them all their days. Sure, I’ll always pray, but one day they will have to stand on their own two feet as men of God and nurture their own relationship with the God of heaven.
How dare I not equip them to be able to do that.
As we close today, I want to encourage you that you are the most influential person in your child’s life. Demand respect, live respectably and teach them diligently. God will honor your efforts and bless your family.
The articles I referenced will be in the shownotes. If you have any questions, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll catch you on the next one.