She sat in church glancing over at his hands. She couldn’t concentrate on the sermon the pastor was preaching. Her mind was on one thing and one thing only.
Was he going to do it? Did he understand how much she needed the validation? The reassurance? She stared at his hands wondering … waiting.
Finally, the pastor closed in prayer and everyone got up to leave. But, instead of feeling refreshed from the message of hope just given, she felt more depressed than when she came in.
What was she looking for? Confirmation of her worth by the man who said he loved her. She was waiting throughout the entire service for him to reach out and grab her hand. All she wanted was the reassurance of his love and the confidence that she mattered to him.
Is there anything wrong with that? Maybe “wrong” isn’t the right word.
Know Your Worth
If we try and find value in the touch, words or acceptance of someone else, we don’t know our worth. And when we wake up tomorrow, we’ll need that touch all over again because our worth isn’t found in someone else.
I’m not saying a husband should not show love to his wife. I’m also not saying there aren’t times I need to feel that love from my husband. However, I am saying that finding confirmation of our worth from anything or anyone is like a cat chasing her tail. It’ll just keep us spinning round and round and once we catch it, we’ll start all over again.
Here’s what we need to understand: you had endless worth the day you were born and the doctor slapped your behind and called out, “It’s a girl!”
The world wouldn’t be the same without you. Now, you can listen to any feminist and she’ll tell you the same thing. First, I’m not a feminist. Second, a feminist didn’t come up with that philosophy about women … God did.
Last But Not Least
In Genesis chapter 1, God created everything in our world. He knew man and woman were coming and would have children and populate the earth. The ironic thing about it is that God didn’t create the woman just yet.
I always wondered why. Why did He bring her along last? No one likes to be last. Don’t be offended. I promise there is purpose behind this order to creation, and it works in our favor.
Everything was good before the fall. The world was created in perfection. Adam was perfect. All was right in the world. Or, so you would think.
In Genesis 2:18, God sees something that’s not good and He says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” In perfection, God sees a need. The man was alone and it wasn’t good. In a world where everything was supplied to Adam, he was missing something.
Do you know what it was? He needed a woman.
The man needed companionship. He needed someone to help him multiply, rule, and have dominion. He could not do this life without her.
God knew this.
But, Adam wasn’t quite sure what he was missing.
God didn’t just want to bring a beautiful woman to Adam. He wanted Adam to feel the need. He wanted Adam to long for her. He made him hurt in loneliness so he exhausted all options of fulfilling this need so when she came, he realized her worth.
Why? Because God wanted him to value her, so He brought her last … when the need was great.
The Sadie Hawkins Mentality
I was telling my niece the other day that she needs to have the “Sadie Hawkins Mentality”. I gave it a name because it’s becoming a real example in this family as our teenagers go into the dating stage.
You see, the Sadie Hawkins dance is where the girl asks the boy to go out. Back in my high school days (which wasn’t that long ago, eh em), the boy usually did the asking.
But Sadie Hawkins was when the girl would ask the boy to the dance.. She would pick out the matching outfits and they would look so cute together.
I had my eye on a crush and I had to muster up the courage to ask him to the dance. When the 5th period bell rang and we were in between classes, I would stop him at his locker and pop the question. I already had our outfits picked out too. He was going to look so good in that Bel Biv Devoe t-shirt.
As I rounded the corner, my eyes caught his and I cleared my throat. “Do you want to go to Sadie Hawkins with me?” I asked shyly.
And then it happened. He stood for a minute and he answered, “I’ll think about it.” He was smug and cocky. He said it so matter of factly, it caught me off guard.
First, I was surprised. Then, I got angry. Think about it? He has to think about going to Sadies with me?
Come to find out, he was waiting for another girl to ask him before he answered me.
“Don’t bother,” I told him. “If you have to think about it then I’m not worth it to you.” He didn’t go to Sadies that year.
More Than Rubies
Proverbs 3:15 says, “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” We must see ourselves the way God does. We will feel like we’re not worth it at times. But if God made man realize his need for a woman in the midst of perfection, your standard should be no different.
At the beginning of this post, I shared the story about a woman longing for the value she felt in her husband’s touch. I want to share with you what I shared with her.
If you continue to wait for a touch to validate your worth, it may suffice for today. But what happens when he doesn’t hold your hand tomorrow?
You may feel momentary worth in the words of someone else today, but what happens when they don’t speak those words tomorrow?
The cycle never ends if you’re looking to someone or something to validate your worth.
In order to find your worth, you have to believe what God says about you and then you hold everyone in your life to that standard.
The challenge today is to stop looking for value in the eyes of others, and remember what God says about you. It’s as easy as that, and that means we have to take it back to the garden and remember why He created us last.
And so, my friend, you are worth more than rubies. Just because you don’t always feel like it, doesn’t mean God sees you any differently. I hope you’ll take on the Sadie Hawkins Mentality and set the standard on your worth. When you understand your worth in Christ, you won’t miss out on the dance of life.
How About You?
Do you look for your worth in the eyes of others or are you confident of your worth in Christ? I’d love to know what you have to say about this. Tell me in the comments and I’ll respond.
To study more about this topic, check out Reflections of Eve, lesson 1.
I am so excited to share my Facebook group: Mirror Mirror Christian Women’s Group with you. If you can’t find the time to make it to a Bible study and want to join a community of women who encourage one another and lift each other up, join my group today. We will kickoff on Monday, July 8th. That’s only a week away!