My boys looked up at me. The look of disgust on their face said it all. They weren’t interested in girls. They thought girls had cooties. Maybe because they were only seven and five and didn’t understand what I meant when I told them women have a secret weapon.
I just finished my speech about what will happen if a girl comes to my door with skimpy clothes on. Although it was probably the first time they heard it, it certainly wasn’t the last.
Let it be known that they’ve been warned. If a girl comes to my door wanting to date my boys and she’s not dressed like a lady, I will give my boys five minutes to figure it out. If they don’t, I will step in and ask her to leave. It’s as easy as that.
That may sound harsh, but I don’t think so. You see, who better to know what a woman is capable of than another woman? I am well aware that this post may make some women upset. We either don’t want to admit that we have power over men with our bodies, or we are completely oblivious to the idea of it.
Either way, it’s something we need to talk about
I follow a #GirlMom on Instagram and all too often she posts little memes about hunting the boy down who would ever think of breaking her little girl’s heart. I get it. I’m a mom too, and would never want anyone to hurt my children. But, just like a mother of girls has to warn her daughters about bad boys, I feel inclined to warn my boys about the secret power a woman has over a man.
A few weeks back, I was studying the book of Proverbs with my boys and something hit me like a ton of bricks. Mind you, I already wrote and published Reflections of Eve where I studied this same passage of scripture.
But there it was! In black and white. And the lightbulb finally went on
Proverbs 31 was not written by a man. It’s inspired by a woman; a mom. And she warned her son about the destructive ways of a woman.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably shocked right now. Maybe even thinking, “How dare you, Shanda! That chapter tells me how to be a good wife. Lisa TerKeurst named her ministry after it. Are you insane?”
We would be foolish not to heed Proverbs 31 and try and live up to the woman in that chapter. But in reality, it is inspired by a mom. And written for a son. That was it’s intended purpose.
So, we should ask ourselves: If Proverbs 31 is inspired by a woman, is there anything else I should take away from it besides how to be a good wife?
The point of today’s post is not really about motherhood. It’s about you and I coming to the realization, or even just having a real conversation about the effects we have over the men in our lives. But before we do that, let’s look at what Proverbs 31 says. In verse one it begins by saying, “The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him.”
As I said before, who better to understand the ways of a woman than a woman herself? And her first warning is for him to be careful not to give his strength to a woman.
In our culture today, this topic is frowned upon. Feminists all over the place will chew me up and spit me out for suggesting that a woman could have that kind of power over a man.
But let me make clear … God designed us that way. We are supposed to have that kind of effect over a man. We just need to make sure we use it wisely.
Think about it! Eve showed up and Adam was all about it. He wrote the first love song; the first poem. Shakespeare could have learned a thing or two from Adam.
Our Culture Feeds Sexuality … Literally!
One normal Thursday evening my boys and I were watching TV. We didn’t have cable at the time. We had your basic channels of ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS (which we watched often). That meant we didn’t have the luxury of fast-forwarding through channels like we do now.
I was enjoying the snuggles on the couch with my boys when a Carl’s Jr commercial came on. You know the one I’m talking about? The woman is half naked, rolling around on a sports car with honey bbq sauce dripping down her chin and cleavage.
I grabbed the remote and changed the channel before she seductively took a bite of her cheeseburger.
Let’s face it! All we have to do is look around to see that sex sells. And most of the sexual ads feature women.
A Woman’s Power – Man’s Weakness
Women aren’t responsible for what goes on inside a man’s head. We are only responsible for how we carry ourselves. God’s word says we should be modest (1 Tim 2:9). It also states that our bodies are not our own (1 Cor 6:19-20). That means we our responsible to honor God with them.
King Lemuel’s mother said, “Do not give your strength (power) to a woman or your ways to that which destroys kings” (verse 3). There are men in the Bible who gave their strength to women, and it cost them dearly.
Sampson gave his strength to Delilah. She used her seductive power over him until he told her the secret to his strength. He lost his eyes and his freedom.
David gave his strength to Bathsheba. The power of her beauty cost him his child, peace in his family and continual bloodshed.
Solomon gave his strength to hundreds and thousands of women and concubines. It made him, the wisest man, look like a fool. They pulled his heart away from God.
Listen my friend, you are beautiful. I take pride in my appearance and I hope you do too. God made us that way. But we have to understand the power we hold over men because we are the example to someone else.
You may be single. Don’t attract a man because of your appearance and sexuality. Attract him with the condition of your heart and your wonderful personality.
If you are a mother of girls, you are their example as to how to present themselves. What kind of men do you want them to attract?
And if you are a boy mom like me, what kind of girl are you encouraging them to look for? And are we raising gentlemen who know how to treat a lady? Who know how to look for a lady?
My challenge to you today is to evaluate where you are with this subject. Do you agree that women have power over a man because of our bodies? I would love to hear your opinion.
And one last thing before I go … when God made you He made His final masterpiece. He saved the best for last. He crowned all of creation with the beauty of a woman. And with that there is great influence. Use it wisely!