The other day my family was in Hilo, Hawaii on vacation. One side of the island of Hilo is made completely of lava rock and they call it the black sand beach. It’s beautiful but also rocky and rough in most areas.
Dean and the boys climbed a rocky part of the beach to get a better look at the wild waves hitting the large lava rocks. At first I didn’t want to make the trek over the rocks. I was afraid my footing wouldn’t be secure and since I only had flip-flops on, my confidence wasn’t too high.
I looked over in Dean’s direction and saw him waving at me with a huge smile on his face. “This is awesome, babe” he said like a kid who just rode his first ride at Disneyland. Seriously, you don’t know how much Dean loves to explore new places … especially the ocean.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt left out and started to look around for an easy trail to take to get to where they were. As I took each step, I realized my footing wasn’t as unsteady as I thought. If I walked carefully and kept my eyes on my feet, I was able to maneuver through the rough rocks fairly easily.
But, I forgot I married a knight in shining armor; a man who likes to come to my rescue even when I don’t need the help.
Before I could startle the little crab next to me back into his shell, my husband was at my side trying to grab my hand and lead me to the action. As I took a step, I could feel him pulling me off balance. Instead of keeping up with my own two feet, I was trying to keep up with him pulling me along. He kept saying, “Walk slowly. Walk slowly.” But he wasn’t going slow at all.
“Babe, you’re making me insecure. Just let me walk myself.” I didn’t want to be mean, but my confidence in my own abilities was stronger than when I held his hand as he led me through.
A Few Truths About Self-Confidence
I want to share a few things about self-confidence with you today that you may not have thought about before. And these things about self-confidence aren’t as simple as walking through lava rocks with a pair of flip-flops.
What we’ve heard about self-confidence our whole lives leads us to believe that we must be confident in who we are in order to stay away from insecurities.
Here’s the truth about confidence:
First, it’s not really self-confidence at all. If you go back to Genesis chapter 3, you will see when the first woman lost confidence for all women. The struggle for self-confidence began when Eve had a conversation with the serpent.
You see, a lot of times we think self-confidence comes from ourselves. We think we have to have confidence in our abilities, our appearance, our accomplishments, and the list goes on. But that’s just not true.
Eve’s confidence came from God and trusting that what He said about her was true. When God created everything, He said it was good. After God created Eve, He said it was very good.
Eve was perfect and lacked nothing.
But the enemy came to her and told her a lie. He said, “If you eat from the tree, you will be like God …”
It’s very important you get the point here. When the serpent told her she could be like God, what he was telling her is that what she was at that very moment wasn’t adequate or good enough.
He told her she needed to be more, want more and long for more. When Eve reached for the fruit, she bought the lie and immediately she looked down and was ashamed. Her insecurities caused her to hide.
Our confidence is not self-confidence at all. It is confidence in God, His word and who He says we are. We are loved. We are chosen. And He has created us perfectly and will give us the strength to do all things.
Second, people cannot make you feel insecure. I mean they can, but they can’t. What I mean by that is that when we compare ourselves to others or care too much about what they think of us, we begin to feel insecure.
Also, the accomplishments of others can cause us to feel insecure. Do you find yourself getting jealous of other people’s possessions or beauty? Do you feel frustrated when people accomplish their goals or seem disciplined to get in shape, go to school, or have a good job?
If you answer yes to any of those, that is not their problem. If being around successful people makes you feel insecure, that’s something you need to take to the Lord. I’m not trying to sound harsh. I just want to be honest with you. The Lord requires that we celebrate with others (Rom 12:15). Insecurities have to be taken to God.
Third and finally, your confidence is built when we hold fast to God’s word and live it out. You can set your mind to go to the gym and look better. You can make it your goal to get new friends, get a degree or make more money. But, none of those things will give you more confidence.
The enemy will always come and whisper in our ear that we aren’t good enough. And because our mother, Eve, bought that lie, we so easily believe his words.
In order to truly build confidence, start by building confidence in the Lord. Know His word, read it and apply it to your life.
I want to challenge you today to take your insecurities to the Lord. Don’t blame others for how they make you feel. Those are still your issues and only God can His purpose for your life can give you the confidence you need to believe in Him and yourself.
For more on this subject, I encourage you to listen to my podcast episode “How to shake off insecurities and walk in confidence” on iTunes here. Or you can listen directly from my site.
I believe in what God has said about you and me in His word! Take care my friend and trust in His plan for you.
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